5 Powerful Reality Checks for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse

Read on Thought Catalog: 5 Powerful Reality Checks for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse


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In my new article, I tackle five myths that survivors of narcissistic abuse are likely to encounter on their healing journey. These include:

1. The idea that malignant narcissists can change and that couples therapy can help them.
2.  The illusion of the narcissist ‘changing’ with the new victim.
3. The myth that all narcissists suffer from low self-esteem and do not know what they’re doing.
4. The harmful advice to prematurely forgive before one is ready or willing.
5. The myth that we can spiritually bypass our emotions on the road to healing.

You can read the full article on Thought Catalog. 

I hope you find these five reality checks helpful and validating. Remember to trust yourself during this process and extend your compassion to yourselves.

Copyright © 2017 by Shahida Arabi. 

All rights reserved. This article is derived from copyrighted excerpts from my book, Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying YourselfNo part of this entry may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author. This includes adaptations in all forms of media.

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2 thoughts on “5 Powerful Reality Checks for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse

  1. Shahida, thank you so much for yet another incredible article. I needed to read something like this today. While I have made great progress in my healing jurney, going through a difficult divorce and custody battle with a narcissist can certainly throw you off balance and back into old ways more easily than anybody would wver want. Thank you for the validation and insights I found in your article. Healing is what I refer to as a long and winding road full of potholes. It’s slow, it’s painful, bumpy, but it can also be very rewarding. I just wish there would be more literature about how to deal with a narcissist when you’re stuck “parallel parenting” with them (there’s no such thing as co-parenting with a narc.) I also wish there would be more literature on how to raise your child so they don’t turn into narcissists themselves, nor they suffer. I want my daughter to growup to be a more sounded human being than me. I want her to have the tools and the “radar” I didn’t have so she can set boundaries with her own father when needed, she can protect herself from narcissists and abusers in general, and she doesn’t fall pray to them or make the same mistakes I made. While I’m learning a lot for myself, I am not finding enough for those of us with children. Either way, thank you once again!

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